20 Important Questions to Ask on the First Date
Lifestyle, Relationship

20 Important Questions to Ask on the First Date


20 Questions to ask on the first date

Relationships. The thing that forms such a huge part of most of our lives, yet we struggle to get it right. Let me tell you, I’ve had few bad ones that I think back on and want to slap myself. What was I thinking? Clearly, looking back it’s easy to see what went wrong. There were no shared interests, your goals were worlds apart and you leapt into it without really getting to know the other person.

Sound familiar? No? You are really lucky.

For the rest of you who are still looking to no avail, I have good news. There are so many people in this world, chances of not finding someone compatible is really slim. It just takes time, patience and hard work.

The just about relationships

20 Questions to ask on the first dateRelationships are hard work. Oh boy, there have been days where I was so tired and just wanted to sleep through the next week, but I had to catch up with my boyfriend. To make it work, both of you should give your all.

Okay enough relationship advice, I’ll make a separate post for that.

Now, I can’t guarantee anything with these questions. It eventually comes down to your own commitment and your way of handling the relationship. These questions are just to set you on the right track so you don’t realise you’ve made a mistake 10 months down the line. (I wrote these as if you would ask them to your date)

Important questions to ask on the first date (or eventually)

  1. Are you interested in a serious relationship or just a fling?

  2. How do you handle conflict (cause there will be conflict)?

  3. Where on your priority list does a relationship fall right now?

    20 Questions to ask on the first date

  4. What is your ultimate goal with any relationship?

  5. What are your thoughts on having kids?

  6. What do you expect from me as your partner?

  7. What does your religion determine how you manage relationships?

  8. Are there any pet peeves I should know about?

  9. How do you usually spend your holidays?

  10. How much time does your job/studying take up?

  11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

  12. What’s your family like?

  13. Do you think it’s better to just start dating or to get to know each other first?

  14. What’s your love language(s)?

  15. What’s your idea of the perfect date?

  16. What’s your music taste?

  17. Thoughts on marriage?

  18. Most important things on your bucket list?

  19. Places you want to see in your lifetime?

  20. Anything about me that concerns you (be honest)?

Trial and error

Not all of these are as serious but can be something to keep in mind during the first few months. It’s good to get to know someone as much as possible before pursuing a serious romantic relationship with them, so toss these in between the usual (favourite colour, favourite food) questions. Your date will either find you interesting because you seem to know exactly what you want, or they will bolt.

If they decide that it’s too much for them, rather have them leave now than a few months down the line when you’re living together. It will seriously make things less complicated.

20 Questions to ask on the first dateRelationships are about being open and honest anyway. So if the other person knows how you feel about certain things, they will either decide to work on it or decide that you’re not meant to be.

The positive thing about this? You did not waste 6 months of your life trying to figure out if they are right for you. You get to schedule another date for the next week and continue your search for your soulmate without having your heart broken.

Marni xox

20 Important Questions to Ask on the First Date

17 thoughts on “20 Important Questions to Ask on the First Date”

  1. Great topic, thanks for your thoughts Marni! But wow, so many questions! 😉 I did not have a first date for many years but the list above whilst all great and very pertinent feels more like an interview? How about the good old spontaneous fun & chemistry ? I love Alain de Botton’s take on emotional intelligence and all the series about Choosing a partner – I think he wrapped it up by simply asking – What is wrong with me & you and can we work on those wrongs well & pleasantly together?

    1. I do agree it might sound like an interview, but that’s why you should put your own creative spin on it. These are just things to keep in mind when you are considering starting a romantic relationship with someone. Not everyone is as emotionally intelligent or wants to put in the effort to work on the relationship. But I definitely agree that people willing to work on it and are emotionally intelligent will be able to get by on love and chemistry.

  2. I was 30 when I met my second husband and already had a 6 year old son, so it was important for me to know where he was heading in life and where he saw things going. Turns out we were married with a baby within a year, haha!

  3. Great questions. I think I’d have to go in with them written on a piece of paper though. First dates can be so nerve wracking. My Dad would often ask if I’d asked them questions and I’d be like nooooo I couldn’t remember anything lol.

    1. I can relate. I’m really shy around new people, so I’m glad I found my boyfriend and I could be comfortable around him. I guess it just takes practice and being yourself around them.

  4. I’m just so glad I’m not in the dating world anymore. Hated it. But I agree, it’s important to know these questions even in the early stages. That way you both will know no one is wasting their time!

  5. The dating scene is one I haven’t seen for a long time and am pleased to say I’m happily married. Though seeing my brothers go on different dates I can see why it’s important to find out more rather than less about someone ?

  6. The question about whether they are after a relationship or just a fling is so important to me. As I am currently in the dating world and do not want a fling so I want to be on a date with someone who is after the same thing!

  7. I think you would have me running for the hills if you asked all these questions on a first date. Yes to some of them, like places to see in your lifetime and bucket list items, but thoughts on marriage and kids is a big no-no

  8. When I started dating my boyfriend he used to get really nervous and ask the most bizarre questions like ‘Do you like pets?’ I always found it quite endearing. I’m not sure I would ask about future plans and children on a first date. I think it is nice to just enjoy someone’s company in the early stages.

    1. I guess it really comes down to your own goals when going into a new relationship. Some of the people that have commented have especially mentioned that later in your life you don’t want to waste time with the wrong people, so it’s important to know where they are at emotionally. I think it’s cute that your boyfriend got so nervous; it is very endearing.

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