Long Distance Relationship | Preparing for an LDR | Relationship Advice
Lifestyle, Relationship

9 Ways to Prepare for a Long Distance Relationship


Long Distance Relationship | Preparing for an LDR | Relationship AdviceThe idea of going into a long distance relationship can be very daunting. It certainly has been for me. There’s so much uncertainty about what it will be like and whether you and your partner will be able to handle it. And I guess it really all depends on the people in the relationship. If you want it badly enough, you will do what needs to be done to keep the relationship alive.

My long-distance relationship starts in January. Here’s my list of things my boyfriend and I did to prepare for it:

Long Distance Relationship | Preparing for an LDR | Relationship Advice1. Talk about the possibility of a long distance relationship

Long before we got the news that he would be attending university so far away, we talked about the possibility of it happening. We were prepared for the news to go either way. We spoke about what it would entail should he be admitted here or there.

When the news broke, we were shocked and sad, but we did not have to panic because we had already discussed it.

2. Make a plan a few months at a time

Our universities break 4 times a year. This means that we will be able to see each other at least 4 times a year (if not more). For the time being, we’re devising plans for the first 3 months we will be apart until he comes to visit me in March for my birthday.

I’m someone who likes to plan a lot of things ahead of time and he had to tell me that we will talk about it when we get there. One holiday at a time.

Long Distance Relationship | Preparing for an LDR | Relationship Advice3. Decide how you will stay in touch

Personally, I think using text messages is very impersonal. We have had so many misunderstandings and fights because you cannot really fully express yourself over text.

We will be using Skype to stay updated on each other’s lives. We are both studying degrees that will take up a lot of our time, so we will not be able to text or Skype every night.

There are also a lot of apps out there that allow you to stay in touch with your partner through photos, notes and shared calendars. We will be testing them out next year, so I’ll let you know which one is my favourite.

Long Distance Relationship | Preparing for an LDR | Relationship Advice4. Don’t be afraid to talk about it

I know, it can be a sensitive subject. It’s this thing that’s looming over you and you feel kind of helpless. My advice would be to talk about this with your partner. Instead of each of you wallowing in your own despair, try to find solutions or console each other.

This next step in your relationship will probably make or break it, so you need to do everything it takes to stay strong and stick with it.

 

5. Commit from the start

If you and your partner are deciding whether it will be worth it to keep on dating over the distance, you need to make a decision that you can stick to.

If you decide halfway through that it’s too much, you will have wasted your own time as well as your partner’s. This is why it’s probably not a good idea for a new couple to try this. It could be possible to start a relationship as long distance and see it through, but I would rather bet on an older relationship.

Long Distance Relationship | Preparing for an LDR | Relationship Advice6. Trust each other

There is no way that this relationship can work out without trust. I know it’s hard to leave yourself so exposed and vulnerable, but if that’s what it takes…

It will not help the relationship if either of you start mistrusting the other and asking a lot of interrogating questions. If you love this person enough and they love you enough, they will commit to you and only you.

7. Communicate

The golden rule of relationships. If something is bothering you, tell your partner. They will not be able to guess at it. Talk to them when things get too hard and you’re feeling lonely.

Share your thoughts and feelings as if they were still there with you.

Long Distance Relationship | Preparing for an LDR | Relationship Advice8. Make a care package

I’m sure you’ve seen these on Pinterest. A care package is basically a bunch of gifts in a box that you can mail to them or give them before they leave.

My boyfriend just had his birthday and I included some things that will help when he’s missing me. Things like a photo album and a letter. I’ll probably send him another one early next year.

This is your chance to get personal. You should add things that are related to your relationship and will remind your partner of you. Make it pretty and full of goodies for them to enjoy.

9. Be positive and excited

Be positive because after you’ve done all the above things, you are prepared to kick this long distance in the butt. Just stay strong and keep on hoping.

Be excited because once it has started, you can count down the days until the next visit. And the more visits there are, the faster time will pass until you can be together for good!


I wish all of you the best in your relationships.

Let me know in the comments below how you handled (or are handling) your own long-distance relationship.

Marni xox

 

 

16 thoughts on “9 Ways to Prepare for a Long Distance Relationship”

  1. My partner and I live in different countries. Yes, of course it’s hard but all the advice you’ve given genuinely are things that can really make all the difference. Your point about working a few months ahead is important not only because then you have something to look forward to, but in a practical sense need to keep thinking about what the distance looks like for your relationship, how to adjust things to make it work better etc.

  2. The hubby and I lived long distance for almost two years of our dating relationship. It made for some hard times and also some really special memories. In 2018 we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary.

  3. What a well put together article. I can’t imagine how hard this may be for you but it’s good that you have put these strategies into place.

    In the early stages of my relationship, we lived across the country from each other, as i was away at university. We saw each other though everyother weekend and spoke every night via Skype. After the first year of it being long distance, I was very lucky in that my boyfriend chose to move with me to where I attended university.

    Wish you all the best and luck with your relationship 🙂

  4. i’ve always admired people who are in long distance relationships. it’s never been something i would or could do but for those who make it work i know it’s hard.

  5. I know the feeling, have done it myself, it is hard but if you are able to make sacrifices, it will eventially work out, thanks for sharing!

  6. Good luck on your long-distance relationship. If both sides want it, it will work. Nice check-list you wrote here. It’s hard but let’s hope it’s only temporary!

  7. Thanks for this brilliant article. I learn a lot from this post about handling such issues. Meaning there must be agreement to certain things to make the relationship work.

  8. Oh wow, these are great tips Marni. I don’t think I could handle a long distance relationship but then again I’ve never had to be in one. I wish you both the best and I’m sure everything will work out well!

    / ORRBLOG

  9. Some great tips here, I think a lot of them apply to any kind of relationship (honesty, trust & communication) Planning how you’re actually going to stay in touch is really important.
    I’ve had a long-distance relationship and it’s tough. Luckily the time difference was only 3-4 hours so we could skype in the evenings, and we also sent each other good morning messages. Thankfully we’re done with long-distance and are finally together!

    Once thing I’d disagree on is that you need to be an established couple… me and my partner have so far spent most of your relationship on opposite sides of the world, seeing each other every 6 months 😉 I’m gonna go all soppy and say it’s love and you just know when it’s right! Haha.

    Good luck to both of you! My advice is to remember that you both may change a lot while at university, and also that it might be a bit weird when you’re actually together. You’re changing from only talking and messaging to constantly being with someone, so give yourselves some “me” time even when you’re finally in the same place.

Comments are closed.